tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513339776324131782024-03-13T08:10:22.180-04:00Five Small MealsInsomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-83925694956903591562010-02-11T01:08:00.002-05:002010-02-11T01:08:31.923-05:00New E-Home!Come visit me!<br />
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http://liberalinsomnia.blogspot.com/<br />
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I'll keep this place up for a few weeks, just to make sure you all can find me.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-23583377833714216152010-02-06T19:30:00.003-05:002010-02-06T19:50:42.009-05:00A meme<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I'm thinking of closing up shop and moving to a new location (no worries, loves, I wouldn't leave you entirely). I'm feeling a little ... stale ... on the weight loss blogging. It's kind of routine, and there's a lot more interesting shiz I want to post about, but I feel constrained because I started a "topic" blog. No fear, if I open up shop somewhere else? I'll link ya. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Until then, I copy and paste a meme from Mar, over at Chub to Chic. Because obviously you need to know more about me. Without further ado:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(41, 48, 59); font-family:'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Welcome to the new 2010 edition of Getting to Know Your Family and Friends: The Blogger Version. Change all the answers so they apply to you, then send this to several people you know — INCLUDING the person who sent it to you (that would be me).</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What's your occupation right now?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Law Student and </span><strike><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Slave Labor </span></strike><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Law Clerk at a firm here in town. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What color are your socks right now?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Bare feet!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What are you listening to right now?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This week's episode of Community on Hulu. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';font-size:medium;">What was the last thing you ate?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Hummus and All-Bran crackers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Can you drive a stick shift?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Poorly</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Last person you spoke to on the phone?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My dad. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Do you like the person who sent this to you?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">Duh.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">How old are you today?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">24. 25 this year ... it's gonna be a blowout. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Now, football. But, growing up in Indiana, I used to love me some basketball on TV.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What is your favorite drink?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Non-alcoholic? Diet Coke from a fountain or Diet Dr. Pepper from a can. Or a tall glass of ice-cold water.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Have you ever dyed your hair?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Haha. If you knew me in person, you'd know I used to dye it all the time. Every shade of red that has ever been. However, now I've got some very faded highlights that I got almost 5 months ago, and nothing else.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Favorite food?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's far too hard to choose. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What is the last movie you watched?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You know? I have absolutely no idea. I know I've watched some on TV this week, but it was really only as background noise.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Favorite day of the year?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The first sunny day in spring where you don't need a coat, but can get by with a light jacket/long sleeves. Alternatively, I love the first crisp day in fall.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">How do you vent anger?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I stew.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What was your favorite toy as a child?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I actually wasn't a big "toy" kid. I liked activities/puzzles/nerdy things. So, if I had to choose, it would probably be my science kit. Yes, I had one. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What is your favorite season?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Late Spring. Or early Autumn.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Cherries or blueberries?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Neither. You have single-handedly named the only two fruits I really don't like. If I had to choose? Cherries.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Living situation?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Living in a 2 bedroom with Boyfriend in a nice area of Pittsburgh (I promise, they exist!). </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">When was the last time you cried?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I really don't remember. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What’s on the floor of your closet right now?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Laundry basket, snow boots, and lots and lots of shoes (and my shoe rack).</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What did you do last night?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Law school stuff. It was totally awesome. /sarcasm.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What are you most afraid of?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Failure and mediocrity. Being unhappy. I know that's three things. Deal with it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Cheese</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Favorite dog breed?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Boston Terriers</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Favorite day of the week?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Saturday</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">How many states have you lived in?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">If summer internships count, three: Indiana, South Carolina, and Pennsylvania. If not, nix South Carolina.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Diamonds or pearls?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Diamonds. Though I have a string of pearls that I'll always like more than diamonds because they belonged to my great-grandmother.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What is your favorite flower?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Daisies. Preferably Gerber Daisies.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Which of your friends in this distribution list have you had the longest?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Of the people who read this? Amanda, most likely, who I met in college. If we're talking people on the blogroll to the side, probably Mar. </span></span></div></span></div>Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-87279155152652583882010-01-07T23:00:00.001-05:002010-01-07T23:01:19.337-05:00Today ....Is one of those days when I consider dropping out of law school.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-77438882774091824802010-01-02T21:06:00.003-05:002010-01-02T21:20:45.135-05:00Lunch and dinner today (and tomorrow)One of our New Year's resolutions was to menu plan and not eat out or eat crap. To that end, we cooked food today. Each recipe feeds four, so we have food for tomorrow, too!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pasta Primavera: </span><br />(serves 4)<br /></div>2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil<br />3 garlic cloves, minced<br />2 yellow bell peppers, chopped<br />1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes<br />salt to taste<br />1 box pasta (we used Dreamfield's Rotini)<br />2 cups lightly packed baby spinach<br />1 cup thawed frozen peas<br />1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice.<br /><br />Boil water for the pasta. Make sure to add salt!<br /><br />While you're waiting for the water to boil, heat one tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat, then add garlic. Cook for about 30 seconds. Add your bell peppers, asparagus, tomatoes, and salt to taste (we used about 1/2 teaspoon). Stir, then cover and cook for 3 to 5 minutes. Then uncover and cook until veggies are tender (about another 5 minutes).<br /><br />When the water boils, add the pasta, then cook until al dente. Drain, and return to the pot. Add spinach, peas, lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon olive oil to the pasta. Stir in the tomato-veggie mixture.<br /><br />Done!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Steamed Salmon w/ Asparagus & Chive Butter Sauce</span><br />(serves 4)<br /><div style="text-align: left;"> 1 lb thick asparagus, trimmed<br />Salt and pepper to taste<br />4 salmon fillets (we used thawed frozen fillets)<br />1/2 cup white wine (we used a medium dry riesling)<br />2 tablespoons unsalted butter<br />2 tablespoons chopped chives (we used dried, but fresh would probably be better)<br /><br />Lay asparagus in a single layer on the bottom of a large skillet. Add 1 cup water and salt (we used 1/4 teaspoon) to the skillet. Season salmon with salt and pepper and lay it across the asparagus spears. Bring water to boil over high heat. Cover, and cook over medium heat until salmon is cooked through and asparagus is tender (this took about 8 minutes for us). Transfer salmon and asparagus to serving dishes.<br /><br />Add wine to the skillet, increase heat to medium-high, and simmer until mixture is syrupy (this took about 5 minutes). Turn off heat. Wishk in butter and chives, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Pour over salmon and asparagus.<br /><br /><br />Both were tasty!<br /><br /></div></div>Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-83227026644663127522009-12-25T23:10:00.002-05:002009-12-25T23:23:46.216-05:00I now remember how I got fatAs the title says, I now remember how I got fat. Well, aside from the whole "hormonal imbalance" thing.<br /><br />It's Indiana. But it's not why you think.<br /><br />Yes, the foods we eat here aren't so healthy. There's a lot of "American" food. We like to deep fry things. It's really disgusting. But they do that in Pittsburgh, too. In fact, a "Pittsburgh Salad" is lettuce, cheese, chicken fingers, and FREAKING FRENCH FRIES slathered in ranch dressing.<br /><br />I digress.<br /><br />It's not the food. It's that I am and always have been miserable here. It's because of my parents' house. It's the center of all things despair. They're both incredibly unhappy, and unwilling to face or change any of the things that are easily changed.<br /><br />So, they've done what Americans have been trained to do: they eat. And I grew up in that environment. My mother and I never got along. We still don't, but it was even more acute as a kid, because I couldn't get away. I had no control over my life, because she micromanaged everything.<br /><br />Everything except for what I put in my mouth.<br /><br />My adult life has been relatively happy. But periods of great sadness in my life have led to me gaining weight, because in order to cope, I eat. It's something I can control.<br /><br />But my life in Pittsburgh, despite this last semester kicking me in the teeth, has been pretty happy. I was able to lose weight. I gained some back when things got truly miserable. But coming back to this house, to what feels like a toxic environment where my parents live separate lives, and where my mother is incapable of acting like a human being, let alone an adult ... well, it's really brought my food issues front and center.<br /><br />I took a big step today. We went up to see the extended family. I'm not a fan. It's stressful, and it's incredibly sad for a lot of reasons. Added to the rest of the week, it's a prime over-eating environment for me.<br /><br />So, I ate breakfast before we left the house. I had one plate of food at the family lunch, and it wasn't even full. Everything was a reasonable portion. Now, I'm not saying any of it was good for me, but I didn't gorge myself. I didn't even have dessert.<br /><br />It was a small thing. But for me, it was a really big step.<br /><br />I've got a get-together with some old friends tomorrow evening. Then Sunday at 7:30, I'm headed back to Pittsburgh. Where Boyfriend will pick me up from the airport, and I'll give him a big huge hug.<br /><br />In short, my life will make sense again.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-23759269368249744352009-12-17T17:15:00.003-05:002009-12-17T17:27:53.597-05:00Why my bank sucks, a love storySo, I know that a few of my readers are banking VPs, and I love you dearly.<br /><br />But I hate my bank.<br /><br />For the purposes of this post, I won't name them EXPRESSLY, but I'll just say ... they're headquartered in Pittsburgh and in the past few months bought out my lovely bank that I had been doing business with FOR YEARS with absolutely no problems.<br /><br />And then THIS BANK came along and ruined all that.<br /><br />Let's chat, shall we?<br /><br />So, Bank 2 buys Bank 1. And I get NO notices about the change-over, how I should be doing things, when I should expect a debit card in the mail, nada. Months go by. Still nada. The website changes. My account number changes. I'm told to "keep using my card until one comes to me" every time I call.<br /><br />Then, 12/9 comes around. They cancelled my old card and didn't tell me. I found out while trying to buy a pre-finals bagel. Luckily I have a credit card and debit card issued by Bank #3 where I have also done business FOR YEARS with no problems. I can still pay for things.<br /><br />So, I call the customer service hotline. AGAIN. The woman on the phone has a nice Southern drawl. She tells me that oh <span style="font-style: italic;">honey</span> they tried to send it to you and your <span style="font-style: italic;">address</span> wasn't right or <span style="font-style: italic;">something</span> and do you live in an <span style="font-style: italic;">apartment?</span> Why, yes, mystery woman, I do. Oh <span style="font-style: italic;">sweetheart </span> they sometimes can't deliver to the apartments on the first try, because the landlords have them chopped up into so many units and not all of them are <span style="font-style: italic;">registered </span>with the <span style="font-style: italic;">post office</span>!<br /><br />I swear to the gods that the italics aren't ironic. That's how she talked.<br /><br />Anyway, she was very helpful. She verified my address. She tried to process my card and have it sent to me. Turns out that the computer wouldn't let her, because it takes 3 to 5 calendar days for the address to verify. Uh, excuse me?<br /><br />But it's not her fault, and I tell her this as I'm asking to speak to her manager. I indicate that I'm less than pleased that they evidently tried to send me a card, then realized my address was somehow unacceptable, then NEVER CONTACTED ME about the problem. I indicate that I know this isn't the manager's fault either, but that there's got to be a better way to do this than allowing me to realize the problem only when my previous card is inactivated.<br /><br />And so on, and so forth.<br /><br />So, I called back today, and got a very nice Indian woman, who processed my card order. Let's see if it gets to me.<br /><br />However, Indian woman refused to order checks for me (I would do it myself, but the website for some reason HATES everything about me and won't let me order them -- I kept getting error messages). She insisted that I could continue using my Bank 1 checks, even though I now had a different account number with Bank 2. I call shenanigans. I don't want to get called in for check fraud. That's a felony, you know.<br /><br />I'll be going to my local branch and speaking to a representative in person tomorrow.<br /><br />Or, I'll be closing out my account and taking my business down the street. It just kind of depends on how things go.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-55279806727939159062009-12-07T02:12:00.002-05:002009-12-07T02:15:11.032-05:00This is just to say ...... that it is finals time here. And it's been a hell of a month at work. And well, a lot of random shiz has come up.<br /><br />I'm sorry I'm not around these parts and your blogs more. But I am done with finals on the 16th, and will only have work and family obligations after that until January.<br /><br />I promise I haven't forgotten about any of ya, and that I'll be back ASAP.<br /><br />But for now, I've got to get a little sleep before my morning final.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-36980128790209463262009-11-11T10:40:00.003-05:002009-11-11T11:02:10.539-05:00On Pain. But I'm not dying.Hello, little circle of readers.<br /><br />I'd like to say that I feel great, and that I'm back to normal. I'd like to say that for the past 5 days I've been running around like normal, and with even more energy than normal.<br /><br />But I'd be lying to you.<br /><br />Instead, I've been lying on the couch. I've been propped up on pillows and popping Rx strength ibuprofen. I've been applying ice packs. I've been wearing long sleeves and hiding my hands to keep others from being grossed out by the blown veins in my arms from where they tried to give me an IV. I've been hating sitting upright and moving at school and work. I've stopped carrying some of my books to school. In short, I've been a sad sack of whine and pain.<br /><br />I've done what I'm supposed to. I called my PCP and told the receptionist about the issue. I told her about the ER visit and the fact that they wanted me to follow up. The soonest they could see me was December 7th. After some cajoling, the receptionist connected me to the medical assistant, who evidently knows about the super secret appointment times that aren't filled. I left her a message. This was Monday at 9am, and she still hasn't called me back.<br /><br /> I went to the student clinic, where a very nice nurse complimented my outfit. Evidently they see a lot of undergrads without jobs. And then the doctor came in and listened to my heart and lungs. And then he started pressing on my ribs. Hard. Repeatedly. "Does this hurt? Does it hurt now, when I press harder?" Hint: when I cry, yes, it hurts.<br /><br />So, I'm not dying. I don't have a blood clot or a heart or lung problem. I just have chest wall inflammation. Which hurts. All the time. And which is exhausting, because being in pain is exhausting.<br /><br />I've been told not to work out for at least a week, and not limit my lifting. To "take it easy." I suppose there will be more couch time for me in the near future.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-14773484600584733012009-11-07T02:47:00.002-05:002009-11-07T02:59:08.980-05:00When good weeks go badLet me explain. No, no. Iz too much. Let me sum up.<br /><br />It's been a shitty week.<br /><br />Boyfriend has bronchitis. He has two inhalers.<br /><br />I've been swamped with work and school, and I'm having my lovely monthly time that makes me wish I no longer had a uterus.<br /><br />On Wednesday, I saw a woman get hit by a car leaving work. And, I was insulted by another witness for sticking around to give a statement, because she saw that I work for a personal injury attorney. Shortly after I gave my statement and the cops left, a guy at the bus stop asked for my panties. Then kept edging closer, and tried to touch me. I may or may not have told him I'd have no problem killing him. I may or may not have meant it at that point.<br /><br />And I'm sick, too. I've been running a low-grade fever, and have the sniffles. And headaches.<br /><br />So, because we've been kind of woe-is-me, Boyfriend and I decided to go out for dinner and a movie. We ate sushi, then decided to go see Paranormal Activity.<br /><br />And both were good. Except ...<br /><br />Except that toward the end of the movie, my chest started to hurt. I thought it was just because I was scared, but then it didn't go away. Then I felt light-headed.<br /><br />So we went to the ER.<br /><br />Evidently the magic words to be seen quickly are "Uh, hi. I'm having some chest pain and I feel nauseated." They don't even ask for your insurance card. They plop you in a wheelchair and start ripping your clothes off before you even get back to the curtained area. And they don't let your boyfriend go back with you.<br /><br />But the nurse was a nice guy named Andrew. And the EKG wasn't so scary. Nor was the heart monitor. Or the chest X-ray.<br /><br />But trying to get an IV in my arm? JESUS. Turns out I'm a hard stick. Especially when I've had caffeine. Don't ask me how much I'd had by 11pm when we showed up at the ER. It's embarrassing. Anyway. Three different nurses tried. One (my dear Andrew) was able to draw the necessary blood to get the tests for blood clots done. Then the sticking really started. My favorite is when one of the shift nurses tried to start one in my hand, and totally blew a vein. I bled all over the floor, and my hand is still swollen three hours later, after ice.<br /><br />After all that -- no clue why it hurts. I have a prescription for the super-extra-strength Motrin. They think it's probably inflammation between my ribs, but I'm supposed to follow up with my PCP ASAP.<br /><br />So. How was YOUR week?Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-39518790378897294882009-10-30T21:16:00.002-04:002009-10-30T21:23:19.868-04:00Being a lawyer? It's hard.So, dear friends.<br /><br />This is the week that I've stopped doing just depo summaries and moved onto things that actually, you know, MATTER. I'm doing a memo for Tuesday, and I had a client meeting today.<br /><br />It's hard.<br /><br />I'm wondering if it gets any easier.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-82160671662502973912009-10-22T23:36:00.002-04:002009-10-22T23:42:56.533-04:00Turning it aroudRemember the days when I ate well? Those days have been long gone for a while now.<br /><br />I can't do a whole lot about my exercise routine at the moment, with school and work. I can make it days I don't go in. And the weekends. And I should and I will. But I won't get back to my former workout glory.<br /><br />And that's OK.<br /><br />I'm cutting out white flour again -- it's crept back into my diet, and it's evil stuff.<br /><br />I'm also cutting out Diet Coke. It PAINS me to do this, but I drink WAY. TOO. MUCH. I can still have a cup of coffee or so a day -- I don't over-indulge in coffee. Diet Coke will have to go by the wayside for a while.<br /><br />And? I will eat less bread and more veggies. Bread does evil things to my body -- it makes it crave even more bread. Some is healthy, but I've not been the best in that regard.<br /><br />I'm not going to make hard and fast "rules" because ... it just makes me feel limited and deprived. And I can't think of it that way. I'm going to eat more veggies. More fruits. More lean protein.<br /><br /><br />I don't like falling off the wagon. But I hate feeling fat even more.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-85446286765277490732009-10-22T00:27:00.002-04:002009-10-22T00:35:01.440-04:00People are bastard coated bastards with bastard fillingI've been very disappointed in some people I know lately. They've been hurtful and superior. They've hurt others just for the hell of it, and hurt others to just keep them down.<br /><br />So, to reverse this trend I ask you, Dear Readers: Pop over to see Katie at <a href="http://overflowingbrain.com/">Overflowing Brain</a>. She could use a word of encouragement and to know that the internet has got her back. You're all so great to me -- let's pass that along.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-36229095021287603102009-10-19T23:31:00.002-04:002009-10-19T23:36:09.922-04:00Halloween AWESOME-TUDEDearest Readers, I have been agonizing about Halloween for weeks. WEEKS, I tell you!<br /><br />You see, Boyfriend and I wanted to dress up together. All couple-like. But so many couple's costumes are lame. Overdone. Expensive. Unfunny.<br /><br />You get the picture.<br /><br />Anyway, a friend suggested Paulie Bleeker and Juno. And as I was looking for the T-shirts they wear most in the movie ... I saw our true Halloween calling.<br /><br />It was a Captain Hammer T-shirt.<br /><br />But, lest you think I am going as Penny, Dear Readers, think again! Because Boyfriend and I like to buck tradition! Instead, I will be going as Dr. Horrible to Boyfriend's Captain Hammer.<br /><br />Our things are ordered. All should get here before Halloween. It will be awesome-sauce. Boyfriend has already said he is never taking his hammer T off once it comes because, "It may be the most awesome thing I own."<br /><br />We are nerds. But we have Halloween costumes.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-1901051526490569472009-10-13T01:21:00.002-04:002009-10-13T01:31:02.565-04:00AutopilotI've been on autopilot the last few weeks. It's been point A to point B. Get through the day. I want nothing more than to get to bedtime every night, and yet when it comes, I can't sleep.<br /><br />I've always been an insomniac, and law school has only intensified this tendency. Despite my life being pretty damn good at the moment, I'm always kind of vaguely annoyed or unhappy. Maybe it's just law school malaise. Maybe it's more. I don't really have time to sit down and decide one way or another at this juncture.<br /><br />Either way, I'm really busy. I'm in class in the morning, work in the afternoon, and then I've got to do the reading and assignments for school. Somewhere in there I need to start making time for the gym. But I'm giving myself pass on that for a while, until I figure out which way is up with the new schedule. I've been maintaining with really no effort. That in itself is probably victory enough until life starts to make some sense.<br /><br />I just need to snap out of it. I've been sick for what feels like forever. I've got more work than I anticipated. And I miss quality time with Boyfriend, but by the time things are done at night, I just want to sleep. Or stare off into space and think about sleeping, or about how epic Christmas break will be.<br /><br />But, for now, it will have to do that I just watched a Youtube video of a cat climbing a ladder. And that I will watch episodes of Doogie Howser, M.D. on Hulu until I fall asleep. You know you're jealous.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-29539268174920753732009-10-08T23:44:00.003-04:002009-10-08T23:52:26.351-04:00I'm a paid law clerk. Weird. And is it normal to be scared of the partners?So.<br /><br />After this post, I'm not going to blog about work. Or if I do, it will be to say, "Oh, man, work is cool! I love my bosses!" and similars. Trust me, there's enough going on in the life and weight loss of Five without the craziness that is the Job.<br /><br />But. I did want to say this.<br /><br />Law firms are cool.<br /><br />I say this after working for a totally awesome judge in a totally awesome city in a totally awesome state. My summer experience was great and I wouldn't change it for anything. But that said ...<br /><br />I have an office. Yes, I share it, but I have a big L shaped desk that is mine. I have an email address. There are assistants. I'll have an extension. My computer was made after 2000. I'm not working in an "office" that is really the library, where everyone is barging in all the time and disrupting my mojo by pulling books. Where everyone can read over my shoulder. Where anyone walking to get coffee can see if I got up to go to the bathroom. Where my "desk" was just big enough for my computer. Barely. I don't have to put books on my lap to work anymore. There's tons of room everything I could ever need at work.<br /><br />And, at the end of it all, there's a paycheck.<br /><br />So, thus far, the transition to firm life has been good. I survived the first day and didn't die. I wasn't fired. And I was only moderately terrified when I met a partner.<br /><br />I think that's probably a pretty good first day.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-81653724721854142092009-10-05T19:35:00.004-04:002009-10-05T19:42:36.039-04:00I got my hairs painted!My hairs have been painted. In highlight form. By a professional. For the first time in ... years.<br /><br />You see, Readers, I am what you might call ... frugal. Yes, we'll go with frugal. I am frugal when it comes to the hairs on my head. In college I did all-over box dye to bring my chestnut hair to truly red. I did it myself, and had many an interesting result. But I was adventurous! I had only one bad experience, which necessitated a trip to the salon for my first and (until today) only professional color experience. I went BRIGHT red that day. It was hot.<br /><br />Since graduating over a year ago, I have not put dye in my hair. I don't know if it was laziness that started it, but after a while I realized I liked my natural color. So it stayed. And I still like my natural color. But I wanted some ... ooomph. Some vavava voom! So I made an appointment with a salon that my friends swear by and got a cut and color.<br /><br />And my hairs are pretty. See?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_b9213G9nbz8/SsqDE12Cd-I/AAAAAAAAAF4/19wpeflpPC4/s1600-h/Top+view+2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_b9213G9nbz8/SsqDE12Cd-I/AAAAAAAAAF4/19wpeflpPC4/s200/Top+view+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389264023298668514" border="0" /></a><br /><br />That's pretty much all I've got. Save to say that I'm up to my eyeballs in law school. Kill me now.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-78318584859371850772009-10-02T23:47:00.005-04:002009-10-03T00:11:11.709-04:00New Toy!Today was a monumental day for our household.<br /><br />You see, gentle readers, for the past year and change that I have been dating Boyfriend, he has not had a cell phone. Well, that's unfair. He had a prepaid cell phone that he never turned on. It was always out of minutes. He gave out my phone number to people because mine was always on, and his never was.<br /><br />It pissed me off.<br /><br />So, today, we got a family plan. And Boyfriend got a big boy cell phone. And I got a matching one, b/c it's cute and pretty. We got these Motorola Karma phones:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.techgadgets.in/images/motorola-karma-handset.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 124px;" src="http://www.techgadgets.in/images/motorola-karma-handset.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Image courtesy of http://www.techgadgets.in/images/motorola-karma-handset.jpg<br /></span></div><br />They're cute. They've got a lot of bells and whistles for a messaging phone. We're very happy with the twins. Save that the Internet won't work on Boyfriend's. We're going to have to go back to the AT&T store tomorrow to figure that out.<br /><br />Now, yes, in a perfect world we would have gotten iPhones. Or Blackberries. But ... we're law students. The data packages for those are more per month. We pay half as much for unlimited data as we would for iPhones, and they really do everything we need them to do. I'm sure we'd love iPhones if we got them. But we just really can't justify the extra cost right now.<br /><br />But we're a family. Our cell phone company says so. And we have cute square phones. Phones that are still full of endless possibilities and features that I haven't quite mastered. Phones that are well-reviewed on CNet.<br /><br />So, it's a good day. I'll be up learning how to get the most out of my new toy.<br /><br />While I'm preoccupied, I leave you with this video. You MUST watch it all the way through. The end makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6lHHQu4CIos&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6lHHQu4CIos&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><img src="file:///Users/erinswisshelm/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/moz-screenshot.jpg" alt="" /><img src="file:///Users/erinswisshelm/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/moz-screenshot-1.jpg" alt="" />Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-21754614367388109732009-09-30T09:19:00.004-04:002009-09-30T11:28:41.451-04:00The ugly cryWhy, good morning. It's only 9:20am or so, and I already know that the gods hate me. How? The comedy of errors that was my morning, that's how.<br /><br />So, I've not been sleeping well, for probably a lot of reasons. Normally it's not a huge problem, but I've also been feeling a little under the weather. And still can't sleep. So, yesterday when I hit that afternoon time when I really wanted to nap, I did not. In order to sleep well that night.<br /><br />Fast forward. It's 1am. I've finished a hot toddy. I've done a lot of reading. I should be tired. I'm WIDE AWAKE. I finally drift off to sleep around 2:30am.<br /><br />And this morning the alarm didn't go off.<br /><br />It didn't exactly put us too far behind -- John has a good internal clock. But, having not slept well, I was counting on hearing the alarm and him getting up to take the first shower in order to wake up slowly.<br /><br />Didn't happen.<br /><br />I burned myself on my flat iron.<br /><br />And then ... the kicker. We were walking down our driveway, which was damp from the rain. I was being careful, and then BAM! Down I went. Ankle twisted. Scrapes. A little blood. And the ugly cry. Oh, the ugly cry. In the middle of the damn driveway, facing one of the busiest streets in the area.<br /><br />Boyfriend just kind of let me bawl like a little kid, then picked me up and took me in and cleaned me up. And then we drove to school, b/c the gods were clearly anti-bus. And I had a noticeable limp, making the bus standing painful.<br /><br />All because some woman in our building dropped and left her barrette on our driveway.<br /><br />... is it the weekend yet?Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-73725930180740318522009-09-30T00:57:00.003-04:002009-09-30T01:04:47.175-04:00Why, hello. Yes, I *DO* blog, thank you!So, hello. Evidently one post per week is my new style.<br /><br />I'd like to say that first: I am no longer the emotional basket case I was a week ago. I have mellowed (mostly). At the time, I had just finished a phone convo with Papa Five in which he discussed the fact that his company is cutting 5,000 jobs over the next two years. He thinks he's safe, but there's no real way to know at this point. It was ... well, he wasn't upset, but by the time I hung up, the camel's back had broken, so to speak.<br /><br />So, yes.<br /><br />In other news: Law school sucks. Legal journal associate editorship sucks. My sources are in A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE. I have to figure out how to cite these (literally) foreign arbitration awards, court cases, and code provisions. It's less than fun.<br /><br />Oh, and my note topic is due on Thursday. I think I'm writing about bankruptcy? I don't know? Someone help me. I need an adult.<br /><br />But in positive news: I got a job. A real, paying-me-to-do-legal-work job. It's with a firm that does personal injury. No, I won't tell you the name. Anyway, I feel even more a kinship to Namby Pamby than I once did.<br /><br />In "eh" news ... the scale hasn't moved. But it's not the scale's fault. I've been baaaaaad lately. I've let the gym slide and eaten more calories than I should of things that shouldn't even go in my mouth to begin with.<br /><br />But, I think I'm on the upswing. I'm tired of empty calories and feeling like crap after I eat. And that's really the big thing, isn't it? We change our behavior when we notice that it's causing us more pain than it's giving us? At least in theory?<br /><br />So, there's your schizophrenic update. I'll try to get at least one more at ya this week. There are things going on, as always. Funny things, even. But at the moment, I'm just pretty busy. And a little under the weather. So, my hot toddy and I? We're going to bed.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-435852954154314912009-09-22T00:59:00.003-04:002009-09-22T01:01:26.088-04:00Why I haven't been bloggingIt's been a hard few weeks.<br /><br />I went back on the pill. My hormones are all screwed up, and consequently my emotions are as well.<br /><br />I'm hungry all the time, and I'm retaining water. The scale is moving the wrong direction.<br /><br />And I can't sleep at night.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Life needs to cut me a fucking break.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-49634143926017665792009-09-17T01:39:00.002-04:002009-09-17T01:48:17.070-04:00The one about loveThe things we do for love.<br /><br />Since I haven't been to bed, it's still Wednesday. And today, being Wednesday, is Boyfriend's birthday.<br /><br />And I spent most of it with a splitting headache. I was less than pleasant for a lot of it, I'm sure. Part of it is just that I get headaches and migraines. Part of it is that I haven't slept well recently.<br /><br />So what is Boyfriend doing right now? He's sleeping in the spare room downstairs, b/c he snores, and he wants me to sleep well.<br /><br />I may joke a lot IRL about him, but let me tell you: the man is a saint. He puts up with me in all my moods (and I have them. In. Spades.). He finds all my neuroses cute and funny and endearing. He is patient to a fault with me. He cooks. He cleans. He looks damn good.<br /><br />And he's supported me in everything I've done this past year. He's been my best friend and the best part of an otherwise grueling year.<br /><br />And today he's 33.<br /><br />Tomorrow we're driving back to West Virginia to visit his dad and some law firms. And while it may not be where I thought I'd ever want to be even a year ago, he's worth the move.<br /><br />I figure it's the least I can do for him, when he pretty much makes my day just by waking up.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-13713966911990224842009-09-16T00:56:00.001-04:002009-09-16T00:57:35.672-04:00Today suckedThe title says it all.<br /><br />Today sucked. School, friends, workout, family.<br /><br />It sucked.<br /><br />I had ice cream.<br /><br />I can't sleep.<br /><br />I wish I could talk about it more. But I can't.<br /><br />Suffice it to say that this week is kicking my ass something fierce.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-22074037575911724772009-09-15T00:16:00.004-04:002009-09-15T00:46:12.007-04:00More existential than normal. I blame my literature major in college.Sometimes I am so surprised and fascinated at how delicate we are, when you think about what we endure on a daily basis. Our bodies take the beating we give them at the gym. They process the healthy and unhealthy food we put into them. Our minds are capable of synthesizing incredible amounts of information. We can compartmentalize our lives into home, work, friends.<br /><br />And yet life is so fragile, both physically and emotionally.<br /><br />I see it every day, walking down the streets of my city, on the bus, in my car. We feed ourselves horrible food, and as a city, we are fat. I've written about this before, but for those who may be lurking or new (say hello! I love comments!), I don't hate or pity these people. But I am sad for them, because I know what it's like to feel trapped. I am scared for them, for their shortened life spans. They make me hyper aware of my extra 50lbs. They make me aware of how large my father is, and how much I love him, and want him to be around as long as possible. They make me aware that Boyfriend is nine years older than I am, and that I want HIM around as long as possible, in spite of the fact that we are both young, and embarking on this healthy lifestyle together.<br /><br />Sometimes I marvel that our bodies can take so much abuse. Other times, I practically weep for us as a nation. What are we doing to our bodies? This is why I run. Why, in spite of having a horrible day, I did not get ice cream, but instead had a few pieces of dark chocolate. Why I attempt to eat sensibly and move more. Why I am determined to drop the weight. Life is short, it is fragile.<br /><br />But perhaps the hardest part of weight loss for we emotional eaters, and indeed the hardest part of examining our relationship with food, is thinking about our mental well-being, and what our minds are capable of handling.<br /><br />I suppose it's normal to have existential crises in your mid-20s. But it seems to me that so many of us of all ages are walking around on auto-pilot. We stuff food in our faces that we barely taste. We want bigger, better, faster, more, when it comes to everything, but we don't know why. We're never satisfied. It takes a toll on our bodies, our friendships, our relationships. We want so deeply to be loved, yet we can't make relationships work. I think that it's because, for whatever reason, we just really don't know ourselves, because we think it's easier to just not think about it. But what does this cost us?<br /><br />We're frustrated. I'm frustrated. It plays out in hurtful and rude comments. It plays out in self-abuse with food. With alcohol. With any number of substances or activities.<br /><br />We all do it to varying degrees. But I was faced with my demon tonight when, after a friend made a thoughtless comment that shook my confidence, I wanted to quit. I wanted chocolate, I wanted to go to sleep. I shut down.<br /><br />But instead of the ice cream I wanted, I had healthier dark chocolate, and a moderate amount. I did some problems for a class. And I remembered that even when the world seems like it's out to get me, I come home to someone who loves me, and wants only the best for me.<br /><br />And that's worth more than the rest.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-82206671154573735942009-09-14T19:47:00.002-04:002009-09-14T20:18:01.989-04:00No cramps!So, today was day 3 of running.<br /><br />First, some background. I suck at running. I really really do. I've never been able to breathe properly so that I don't get cramps. Until today!<br /><br />I ran two miles, and didn't cramp once. Well, I ran and walked two miles. But I ran! Two miles! Without cramping or dying!<br /><br />I'm hoping to get my 13 minute walk/run mile time down to around 11 or 10:30 by Christmas. But first we start with being able to run a solid 20 or 30 minutes at the 4.7mi/hr pace.<br /><br />And now, late dinner of soup and half a sandwich. And reading. Oh. Reading.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-751333977632413178.post-2334655910661204242009-09-11T22:00:00.002-04:002009-09-11T22:15:52.713-04:00My first run in ... well, a long timeI'm back!<br /><br />This evening Boyfriend and I returned from what feels like our 5,000th trip in the past month. This time we were in Philly for about 18 hours, so I could interview with some firms out in Delaware, The Land Where Everything is Headquartered. As I'm interested in corporate law, it was kind of like interviewing for my dream job. Three times. At three different firms. Cross your fingers for me, please!<br /><br />So. As mentioned before, I've been a bad, bad girl. And now I have Fiona Apple singing in my head. But with the traveling and the school starting, I fell off the wagon for a while. Bu now I am back on. Oh, yes. And my running shoes from Nike came Wednesday. I meant to get up before my interviews this morning and run with them before heading out, but ... well, I am not a morning person, Readers. And I am especially not a morning person the morning after driving 5 hours to Philadelphia and sleeping in a hotel bed. Even the excitement of the Nike+ and new shoes couldn't get me out of bed in time.<br /><br />So instead, I ran this evening when we got back to Pittsburgh. I was sleepy, but dammit, I wanted to see how this thing works. And, if you look to your left under the My Stats section, you'll see a link to my Nike.com page that tracks all my runs through the Nike+ software. This particular run was not my best, but it happened at the end of a long day, and frankly, I'm just proud that after 11 hours on the road in the past 36 hours, I got myself to the gym for any workout at all.<br /><br />So, that's the state of things here. Boyfriend and I are going to work out more and eat less crap. We're excited about trying new recipes, and perhaps even taking pictures of the finished product for you readers. Either way, I'm actually going to start sharing how to make some of the more fun things that we eat.<br /><br />I hope to catch up on the blogroll this weekend -- I'm very sorry that I've neglected you all. You know how life gets sometimes.Insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08085682122930371443noreply@blogger.com1