Times Five Cried: 1
Times Boyfriend's Mom called Five fat: 3
Times Boyfriend's Mom called Boyfriend fat: 2
Times Five's housekeeping was impugned: 8
Times Boyfriend's Mom made judgmental or insulting comments: infinity
There are lots of stories. Just ... lots. Stories of Fox News being on in my living room despite her knowing we're of a Democratic persuasion around here. Being lectured about religion. Having Jesus or "she's a good church girl" being dropped into conversation. Losing her at the Cathedral of Learning b/c she can't figure out which door she went into when she went to the bathroom. Being told we're fat. Being told I'm the reason for the apocalypse.
The truth is, it was better than I expected, but just barely. Though, on Sunday we almost packed her up and took her home due to a mean comment she made about me, my eating habits, and a vinaigrette salad dressing. Boyfriend was awesome about handling the situation, and eventually it leveled off enough that she was allowed to stay until Monday morning as planned.
I did do a happy dance when she left this morning. And I DID make myself a screwdriver for brunch.
And she won't be coming back for at least a year.
State of the Human Address.
6 months ago