Monday, April 27, 2009

Let's just file this under, "starting over"

So, today was the last day of my first year of law classes. I still have finals, but it was a day of celebration, if you will. A day of realizing that I freakin' survived the first year of law school.

Consequently, today was horrific food-wise. Panera bagel. Lo Mein for lunch. Dinner was actually OK (middle eastern -- whole wheat pita and red bean veggie chili), but I had ice cream after. And, a celebratory beer after classes.

But I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Tomorrow I will make better choices. And I will just move on from there. It's finals, and I know that I will slip up more often than usual. I've started to realize that one day isn't the end of the world. I've still got good habits, and even my "bad" days aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. My portion control is much better, for one thing.

On a more positive note, I went to yoga today (despite it being 90 degrees here in my little metropolis). The humidity was intense, but I went, and I had a great time, in part because yoga jerk wasn't there today.

Also. I've decided that Friday mornings will be the weigh-in day for the blog. That way I go into the weekend motivated (for one reason or another) and make better food and exercise choices.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Yoga/Life Etiquette

First: I maintained my 199.5 this morning. :)

Secondly, my yoga studio has a resident douchebag.

Now, I know that yoga can attract some people who are a little ... self-absorbed. And, being a law student and a pretty new yoga practitioner, I can sometimes fall in that category. We all, from time to time, do thoughtless things that hurt/annoy others unintentionally. It's part of being human.

But then there's this guy who goes to my studio. I've seen him before, but his girlfriend came with him today, and sat her mat in the (very empty -- it was Friday at 4pm) same row as mine. Not recognizing her as his girlfriend, I went about my business setting up my area and stretching out.

Then in walks the douchebag.

He's one of those guys who tries to compensate for being short by being a big jerk. He's got long, dirty blond surfer hair (we are NOWHERE near a coast) and likes to make sure everyone sees him walk into the room and start stripping down into his yoga shorts. (An aside: Men, please wear shirts to yoga. I don't care how great of shape you're in, I really don't want to see your chest and abs that much. Kthnx.)

The thing is, I could handle that this guy just radiates "I'm a huge tool" except that he's really distracting in class. He talks. He'll giggle to himself (about what, I have no clue) and he'll invade your personal mat space and not apologize.

This was our issue today.

You see, there were not many people at class today. It was Friday at 4pm. There was plenty of room to spread out, but this guy chose to put his mat roughly 4 inches from mine. And then his limbs somehow kept intruding into my space. And not on poses where you would expect to need more space, where you arms or legs go wide.

So, I'm hanging out. I'm trying to exercise patience. And then, as we're in a balancing pose, his girlfriend decides she doesn't feel very good, and she wants to go home. So he starts to roll up his mat, and KNOCKS ME THE FRICK OVER, causing me to roll my ankle

And he doesn't apologize.

Being the nice person I am, I did not punch him or raise my voice despite REALLY wanting to. I didn't want to disturb the rest of the class anymore than my loud thud and yelp I'd already let out, and I was embarrassed. I spent a lot of the rest of the class in child's pose, as I couldn't balance on my right leg anymore, and after class walked very slowly back to the apartment.

So, the ankle isn't swollen, but it hurts. A lot.

All because someone's mommy never taught him to play nice with others.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

My first yoga injury, and some good news

Despite really just wanting to collapse into bed this afternoon because of a restless last night, I sucked it up and went to yoga. But, out of consideration of my poor, tired body and the fact that I haven't really taken a yoga break this week, I decided to go to the basics class. Because basics should be easier, right?

Well, not tonight.

See, basics yoga is ... well, in some ways it's harder. It's slower, so you're not "flowing" as fast, or moving from pose to pose as quickly. As such, you don't get as dizzy from the hot room (good, because today it was 102 in there), but you're holding poses longer, which can make for some sore muscles. And they really just do basic poses. Some moderately advanced ones.

But tonight, the instructor decided it was a good idea to do Crow.

For those of you who don't practice yoga, Crow is effin' hard. It looks like this, in its most basic form:

Photo courtesy of the Sonia Show:

It can then be modified in several ways, such as side crow:

Image courtesy of: Team Sugar:

Etc, etc.

Suffice it to say, this is not a "basic" pose. But, I've been going for three weeks now, and I was feeling pretty adventurous. So I tried. And I now have a bruise on my tricep, because I am just not there yet.

But! In good news, I did my first full backbend since ... well, since I was in gymnastics class in middle school. My balance is better, and I'm stronger. I did like, a million pushups in class today, and my arms are pretty alright.

Finally, I'll end on the happiest note of all. I walked into class today and the girl sitting behind me in the lecture hall commented as I took off my trench, "Have you been losing weight? You look really good." After just this morning I looked in the mirror and realized that I have a WAIST in pants and a shirt again. Now, I still have the pooch, but it's much harder to see, and my waist curves in much more than it did before when you look at me straight on, even if I always had a defined waist.

So, I think that we can chalk this up as a good day. :)


This morning, out of curiosity I stepped on the scale. I've been pretty good about exercising, but my diet has been ... well, not so great. Mexican for lunch yesterday. I only ate half the burrito, and it had a whole wheat tortilla. But, it's still a burrito. I was ready for disappointment. But, lo and behold, I am under 200lbs!

I'm a little over-tired from not sleeping much last night, so it's really kind of not registering. But something I'm doing must be working, because I haven't been under 200lbs in ... well, quite some time. :)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight knows the hardest part of the game is motivation.

In my day, I need that motivation first thing in the morning. As a law student (and one who is now nearing finals), I have limited time in the morning, and what's easiest is to just grab a bagel at Panera. Even though I have bagels in the apartment. Delicious, lower-calorie bagels with Light Laughing Cow cheese.

But, there are those mornings that I don't want to make myself one of my perfectly good bagels. I want the people at Panera to make it for me.

And then there's the motivation to walk home, or to go to yoga, or to train. So far, I've been doing alright there, because yoga just makes me feel awesome. Well, sometimes like I want to die during the class (if I have to do one more pushup today I may die), but after I feel great.

But as finals come closer and closer, I wonder how I'll hold up for those two weeks. Will I eat ALL the dark chocolate I bought to keep myself from splurging on the worse-for-you milk chocolate? Will I really commit to eating at home? Will I keep going to yoga those two weeks? Will I keep walking home from class, or going on a long walk a few times a week? Will buying pants two sizes smaller this week be enough to keep me motivated? I wish I knew.

I guess all you can do is take it one day at a time, and even more so one moment at a time. Right now as I'm getting ready to settle back into my outline, I'm acutely aware of the dark chocolate in the cupboard. But I'm pretty sure that at least for tonight I'm good.

Because I simply feel better when I control the urges.


Welcome to Five Small Meals, where I will be talking about weight and weight loss. I imagine I'll share recipes, my workout goals, thoughts about being a shrinking plus-sized girl, and all the highs and lows along the way.