The former head of the FDA discusses his struggle with his weight, and being able to control overeating. I've heard a lot of this information, but I thought it was interesting that a man who went to medical school, law school and ran the FDA has the same issue I have.
I think it's a good read, and the effects of fat, sugar, and salt on our weight are being accepted more and more every day. However, I then watched this guy on the Colbert Report ... and I think I want to read his book. I think the brain is key in all of this, and I want to understand it.
Because I know that I have issues with the snack cracker aisle. Sadies cookies make me weak, despite the fact that I don't really like them, because they remind me of my grandmother. I can't eat Girl Scout Cookies, because I'll eat the whole box.
I've been better. Much better. But I'm not there yet.
Well, A over at Walking the Distance has inspired me. She's been blogging about running, and she just sounds like she loves it. A lot. I ran track in middle school, but even then I had a touch-and-go relationship with running. As an adult, I'm going to try to get over that feeling.
There are a ton of ways to start, but since I work out with my iPod, I decided that a podcast would probably be a good idea. And dang, there are a lot of them. A lot of free running podcasts. :)
I chose a series by Robert Ullrey, Podcasts for running: Couch to 5k (A, you may have planted the seed in my head for this particular podcast -- if so, thanks! It's great!). It's 9 weeks of running, with a different podcast for each week.
What I like best about it is that it's portable and gets you started slow. For instance, this week's podcast is roughly a 25 minute workout, starting with a brisk walk (constant throughout the program) and followed by alternating running for 60 seconds, then walking quickly for 90. I believe there were 8 running sections, followed by a 5 minute cool down.
Let me tell you, I started out saying, "A minute is up already? I could have gone a lot longer ...." and ended not completely exhausted, but with that nasty side-pain you get when you run and you're out of shape.
The downside is that the music is a little ... dancy. I mean, it gets the job done, but it's not the same as my usual workout mix, which threw me off just a little. But, I'll take it, if I have someone else keeping time for me.
Anyway, it was painful, as expected, but I've been home for about 15 minutes, and feel great. My body's got more endurance, and is getting better about recovering quickly. :) All good things.
I imagine it will level out there, as I'm nearing the end of "that time of the month" and my body is going back to normal, not retaining water and bloating like one of those big cartoon balloons in parades.
it was a very WTF moment, though. I cheated last night and ate french fries (from whole foods - they're salt and rosemary fries ... mmmm!), and this morning I'm .5lb lighter.
The gods truly have a sense of humor.
Other new foods on review this week: Bumble Bars (again, found at Whole Foods). I'm looking for new snack bar. I've tried the Fiber One bars, but they've got HFCS in them, and ... well, I still eat them (or the generic version), but I still think it's good to give my body more natural ingredients.
I looked at Cliff Bars, and while they looked REALLY yummy, they're pretty carby even for a granola type bar. I'm just not to that stage yet. :)
So, these bars. They're about the size of a Hersey chocolate bar. They're organic, gluten-free, and vegan. Not that those last two matter much to me personally, but these bars can fit into most diets. I bought three kids: Original flavor, Chocolate, and Hazelnut.
I was super hungry on the way out of the store, so I tried the orginial -- it was good! It's not like a typical granola bar in that it's not super sweet. It was very flax-y, and very yummy. It filled me up, has 17g carbs, 5g fiber, and 6g protein.
The downside: they're fatty and calorie-rich. Of 230 calories, 140 are fat calories. So this won't be something I'm chowing down on all the time, but as I don't eat granola-y things very often anymore, it's probably still an OK option for breakfast in the morning, if I'm mindful of my fat intake for the rest of the day.
I also picked up some Amy's burritos. I know they're not the best option in the entire world, but dammit, I miss burritos, and I love Amy's. I made sure to pick the ones that were less-bad for me, and I'll make sure to have a salad, etc when I eat one.
And, this morning, because I didn't realize yoga was cancelled for Memorial Day, I tried out a cafe near the studio for breakfast. It's this really cute French-inspired crepe shop. I got a multi-grain crepe with egg and turkey sausage and this light cream sauce. It came with a little salad topped with two mandarin orange slices. Very yummy! I may have to try to make something similar at home sometime.
... I have a new low weight! The past three mornings I've been 196.o.
I'm baffled, b/c I really haven't been working out this week. I was starting a new job and getting used to a new routine with Boyfriend gone, and I let it get the best of me. I'll chalk it up to the fact that I've been taking my lunch every day, and eating more salad. Yay for yummy seasonal food!
So, I haven't changed it on the side ticker yet (I want to wait until the whoremones settle down to make sure) but this morning I weighed in at 197.5. New low! Not bad, considering not long ago I was at 202-ish.
In other news: Ladies with hips, hear me now. Do you hate shopping for jeans like I do? Because I hate it. In fact, hate is too nice a word. I would rather do anything in life than shop for jeans. I'd have my wisdom teeth cut out again. I'd go back to that time I had mono. I'd even take law school exams all over again if someone told me that the perfect jeans would just appear in my closet.
Because, dear readers, when you are shaped like me, the perfect jeans are SO hard to find. I have a kind-of-hourglass figure. I say kind of, b/c my waist, while significantly smaller than my hips, is not as small as it once was when I truly defined myself as hourglass. Either way, I have hips. I have hips for DAYS, readers. And my waist is relatively small. And my thighs ... oh, my thighs. They are just huge.
So, this resulted in never having a pair of jeans fit properly. If they fit my thighs and hips, they were huge in the waist. I'm talking, "why, hello, yes, if you look down you CAN see my underwear through the gap in the front of my jeans" large. And if they were the size that would fit my waist, they would never get there b/c my thighs wouldn't allow it.
That is, gentle readers, until I tried the Gap. Yes, I have lost enough weight that I don't feel ridiculous going into a Gap store. Yes, the employees are size 0. But they carry up to a size 18 in the store. And I wear a 14-16 now. So I went.
And I am IN LOVE.
I got there about 30 minutes before closing, so I didn't get to try on every jean in the store. But let me tell you -- I love the Gap for jeans. Love. I began with the Essential jean -- in which I am a size 14. I loved them, especially in a dark wash. They fit almost like a pair of trousers, which, frankly, is great for my shape. I would have gladly purchased a pair and walked out until ...
... I came upon the Curvy jean. I was intrigued, because, as mentioned before, I am curvy, so shouldn't my jean be curvy, too? But, I was skeptical. Old Navy had (or has? I haven't purchased jeans there in ages) a Curvy fit, too. And they LIED. Oh, they lied. Perhaps these women they had in mind had SLIGHTLY larger hips than waist, but they certainly did not have above average thighs. And, as my calves are German and muscular, the Old Navy jeans would cling to them, even in the "flare" cuts. They were stretchy and thin, and kind of molded to your leg (which is not what a big girl wants!), and they always shrank up an inch and a half in the wash. In short, I had some baggage.
But, when I took the Gap Curvy's into the dressing room, they did not disappoint. They were dark wash, with an inseam long enough for heels and washing. They fit my hips. They fit my thighs. And readers, they FIT MY WAIST. Perfectly. As if the jean maker had me in mind when he made them.
I put the Essentials back (though they fit very well, too -- better than any jean in a long time) and purchased two pairs of the Curvy in dark wash. I don't think I'll even need a belt. I don't remember the last time I didn't have to wear a belt with jeans. I'll feel naked.
I know this was a very long post to write about a pair of jeans. And probably jeans that everyone else has already discovered. But ... for my entire developed life, I have never had a pair of jeans that fit so well, and in a cut that makes me look thinner. It was as if an entire new world was opened to me today.
So, yes. I spent $108 on two pairs of jeans, a number that would noramally appall me. But they were worth every penny.
Hello, Gentle Readers. I have recovered (mostly) from my intense reaction to Boyfriend's leaving for the summer. I'm sure after a while we'll get the phone date thing worked out, and I'll be back to my normal cheery self.
But, in other news, I start my summer job at Judge's office tomorrow. As such, I was trying on my dress clothes ... and wouldn't you know? Even though I haven't lost any weight by the scale since I last tried on my suit pants, they are noticeably looser. Previously they were just a tad too tight, and were uncomfortable to sit in. Now, they fit almost-loosely.
This means I have gained muscle! And that yoga has done a good job at toning up my flabby body. :) I'm planning on keeping it up at 4 or 5 times a week at the studio over the summer. Hopefully I'll be a shadow of my former self when school starts in the fall.
To that end, I have started the "simple and easy meals" part of my summer. I have already packed the leftovers from my dinner for lunch tomorrow. I made a low-fat, low-sodium chicken and musthroom soup bake with brown rice. I will steam some broccoli in the morning, and maybe take half an apple or a small bunch of grapes for lunch.
In an unrelated tangent: I hate that Clerk (my direct boss for the summer) has told me that the office is "casual." How confusing! It's a business office, and that of a Judge, so surely it is not truly casual? I went in for my interview in a button-down and black suit pants, and felt a little too dressy. Tomorrow I'm planning on new blue and white striped cotton trousers from Old Navy (from a distance they look gray) and a short-sleeved blouse. I have a non-suit pencil skirt, some black pants, and a few cardigans and blouses that I was planning on wearing -- do these sound appropriate? Any of you highly successful ladies out there have any recommendations for me in this area? Prior to this job, I've either worked retail or been a lab tech, as I was in college. Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
I know this blog isn't really about Boyfriend, though I mention him a lot. But he just left for the summer, and I am sad about it. I know he'll be back in no more than a month to help move out of the current apartment (and clean out the apartment I "live in" but don't ever stay in) and into the new apartment upstairs.
But, in the 9 months we've been together, I've been staying here every night since probably December. And we go to school together, though we had no classes together. So, despite the fact that he only left this morning, I am definitely missing him already.
I may or may not have even had a little cry about it.
Don't judge. I'm a pre-menstrual girl on a diet whose boyfriend just left for the summer. I consider it a victory that I haven't ordered pizza for dinner.
So, I know this is normal, but this "time of the month" is always discouraging for the weigh-ins. Even though I'm on the pill, I retain water like a mo-fo during the week before my "period." Stupid drop in estrogen.
I know the extra 2lbs will go away after next week when I don't have all the extra water weight, but knowing that I sucked it up hardcore the past two weeks, being stressed about Boyfriend leaving for the summer (oh yeah, for Readers who don't know me -- Boyfriend got a job in another state this summer, so we will be separated), worrying about starting the write-on competition for journals, and just generally being kind of hormonal, I didn't need to see the extra two pounds -- making me around 3.5 or 4lbs heavier than two weeks ago.
It's just discouraging. I know it can be fixed, and fixed rather quickly. But still. Ugh.
On the plus side, I have healthy chicken noodle soup (with whole grain noodles) that Boyfriend made left over. And this week I will truly be better with the diet and exercise. We went on a walk this morning already, just to look at the old houses in our neighborhood and maybe scout for places we may want to live after this next school year. I'll go to yoga tonight if I can shake this sore throat. If not, I'll go for another walk.
Hello again, Dear Readers (all three of you! I see you!).
I am still feeling slightly under the weather, but am much improved in mood because I am done with my first year of law school. Oooooh yes. And despite having a sore throat and the sniffles, I may have imbibed a bit of intoxicating liquor last night.
But just maybe.
And thus ends the two and a half week ridiculousness that was finals. I got a full 8 hours of sleep last night, and today Boyfriend and I are lounging and doing nothing. It is blissful.
The bad news is, I gained a pound back during my two weeks of horrible eating. So, starting tomorrow, my workout and eating plan is back on in full force. My yoga studio will remember I who I am again. :)
Seriously, though. I think this summer will be good for establishing a routine of cooking and exercising. I'm only working part-time (due in part to the crappy economy and also to the fact that the judge only has so much bitch work). I may start looking for another part-time gig that's not law related. I may not. I may take this time to relax and take a freakin' break. Teach myself how to cook again. Go to yoga. Take long walks. Look longingly at Petfinder at Boston Terriers Boyfriend and I can't get until 3L, because our current landlord won't allow pets.
Or, maybe I'll do all those things and still find another part time gig, only for the weekends or just a few evenings. I have this bad habit of spending my summers working 70 hours a week at two different jobs and then never getting a break. Since my rent is paid up through August (when the loan money comes rollllllin' in again ...) why not take adavantage of a little break time?
So, I'm ill. Boyfriend insists, despite my lamentable state, that I do not have Swine Flu, and that I will in fact have to take my Civ Pro final on Monday. Which is sad, because I am too miserable to effectively study.
I woke up with a sore throat, but was determined to go to yoga. And I did ... and thought I was going to throw up 5 minutes into class. I was weak. I was sleepy. I was sweatier than normal. I had to face it -- I was sick.
The good thing -- despite taking a nose-dive off the exercise wagon these past two weeks and not being great about the diet (ugh. Finals -- I always crave salty), I've maintained my weight. No loss, but considering how horrible I've been, I'm just glad that I'm still holding strong at my previous weigh in.
And now ... back to bed with me for a nap. While Boyfriend makes chicken soup.
P.S. Just so you know ... Boyfriend is amazing. Truly a saint. /Mushy.
So, I've been bugging Boyfriend (who is tall and slim, but looking to lose about 15lbs) to go to Yoga with me. He likes running, and I dislike it intensely (hello, boobs! Mine are LARGE), but he likes to work out with me. I've been pestering him to just suck it up and come to a class. And today, he did.
We both went to Saturday morning basics, the one class I really don't enjoy because the teacher is just TOO peppy. One Saturday she actually talked about "happy fingers and toes." She also, unlike other instructors in basics classes, does not give a lot of instruction about how to get into the poses. So, poor Boyfriend kept looking sideways at me, trying to get a handle on what the hell was going on.
As for how he did, I was impressed. He handled the heat pretty well, though he looked like he wanted to die toward the end. He's a guy, so he's got more upper body strength than I do, and the vinyasas were not a problem for him. But, he's woefully inflexible, so I kept trying to whisper modifications for him to take, since the instructor wasn't really helping.
The verdict: He liked it. I don't think he'll go back with me until the fall (we're both taking finals now, and he'll be in another city for his job this summer), but he expressed an interest in starting up with me in August when school starts again.
Despite our trying to cook more at home, after yoga neither of us wanted to cook lunch. SO, after a shower, we went to our favorite restaurant, Aladdin's Eatery. For a meal prepared by someone else, I feel that their menu is pretty darned healthy, without making you eat a salad every time you feel like going out. It's Middle-Eastern, I believe based upon the cuisine of Lebanon. Regardless, the dishes are all super tasty. Boyfriend and I each got a soup (vegetarian chili for me, chicken-len-chili for him) and split an Arayiss Pitza. Very filling, satisfying, moderately carby, high in protein and fiber. In my mind, the perfect post-yoga meal.
Now if I didn't have to study for Con Law, it would be a perfect day.
First of all, thank you for the supportive comments on the last post. Looking back, yes, it wasn't a binge. And even my "bad" choices aren't horrible (I mean, it was low-fat ice cream and a light beer for the love!) I'm going to revel in the fact that the lifestyle has taken hold so well that when I have a day of "slipping" I really do notice, and do feel like I could do better.
Since then, I've been pretty good. It's been, you know, insane. I've had to cut back a little on the yoga because of the insane finals schedule, and my subsequent bout of sore throat/hacking. I'll probably go only 3 or 4 times this week, and again, that's OK. I've made modifications to fit what is an unusually busy time of my year, and I haven't quit making healthy choices. The intensity is just turned down a little until mid-May, when I resume a more normal schedule. But yesterday, I was very good. And I went to yoga, and today am delightfully sore in the abdominal region from the instructor kicking my butt.
Tangentially, am I the only one who actually enjoys sore muscles? I LOVE when my abs/legs/arms are sore. True, I don't like it when it's literally painful to move, but a little sensation in my everyday movements or some burning in the legs as I go upstairs or up a hill are nice reminders that my body is changing. That I may be losing my layer of jiggle and will eventually be one of those smaller girls I envy so much.
Either way, I'm feeling better about my body as-is. I started this whole journey in February disgusted with myself and the way I look. I've since discovered that I now feel GREAT about my body (I think it's the yoga) despite there still being areas I want to work on. I no longer curse my poor tummy, legs, and backside. It's not THEIR fault that they're large. And we're working on shrinking them. It's just a process.
And now -- I must return to my cave at the library, to continue studying for finals. But I think I'll walk instead of taking the bus.
I'm just a 20-something blogger living in the city. I've got a part-time job, a full class schedule, a boyfriend that makes me shoot proverbial milk out of my nose, and the beginnings of a serious coffee addiction.