Friday, July 31, 2009

My insides

Hello, Readers. My name is [redacted] and I'm an insomniac.

It's 2am here, and yet ... not sleepy. Generally, this is because I can sleep in as late as I want now that it's officially summer vacation, but mostly it's nerves tonight.

Tomorrow I see my insides. My doctor wants an ultrasound of my ovaries. And while I'll also get the blood test done, if there are cysts tomorrow, it means PCOS. Which really kind of sucks. I mean, it's not the end of the world. But it means permanent changes. And that blows.

In hilarious news, when I scheduled the ultrasound I made a huge ass of myself. I called the handy dandy number to the imaging department or whatever they're called, and indicated I need a pelvic ultrasound. The woman on the other end said, "Oh, so you're pregnant?" I shouldn't have been caught off guard -- that's the most common reason a woman would have an ultrasound. But I was a little shocked and it took me a second to respond. And when she asked again, "For pregnancy?" Instead of saying, "No, they think I have PCOS," I instead blurted out, "I'd better NOT be pregnant." What can I say? Five gets worried when she's not on her birth control pills, even when we're safe.

I don't think this woman was amused.

Anyway, at 1:30pm today (because it is past midnight, after all) I will see my ovaries. And I'll have one more clue in the puzzle of WTF is wrong with me.

Finally: is it in poor taste to name at least one of my ovaries "Lumpy" if I have cysts?


  1. I've had ultrasounds of my ovaries done. It's loads of fun! They stick this dildo shaped ultrasound transmitter up your girlie place and poke it around. I was checked for PCOS when I stopped having regular periods (I only have about 2-3 a year), but they never saw the "chocolate chip" ovaries on the ultrasound and never gave me a conclusive diagnosis. However, the doctor I saw a few weeks ago for an unrelated matter said that many PCOS patients don't actually develop polycystic ovaries. Good news is, though, if you have PCOS, you don't have to worry about birth control anymore!

  2. Thanks Maggie. :) I still have "regular" periods, but my hormones were off in my last screening (what they should be looking for with you is not cysts, but rather your ovulating hormones and testosterone). At least I don't have the insulin resistance that about 1/3 of women with PCOS have. Small miracles. :)

    Either way, my periods suck big, so I'm probably going back on the pill after my next bloodwork is done, just so I don't feel the urge to rip out my lady parts, or kill someone else during my period.

  3. Hope it's not too bad. You'll probably feel better when it's over with, and you get your results. Best of luck! :)

  4. Hopefully it went well. And, for the record, I think you should absolutely call one Lumpy. And perhaps the other should be Bumpy.

  5. you must name it lumpy. it can be related to my unhelpful left knee.