Tuesday, July 14, 2009


My body has betrayed me.

You see, I had to go of the birth control pill for this PCOS test, to see if my body was producing adequate female hormones. I haven't had a "real" period in about 3 years, when I went on the BCP. So, this week has been ... fun.

I went on the pill for good at 21 not specifically because I was getting it on the regular (if memory serves, I wasn't when I made the decision). Rather, I had really heavy periods, and was experiencing a little extra hair shedding, and my dermatologist thought it would help.

I didn't know about PCOS back then. I just did what my doctor told me. Stupid, stupid 21 year old girl.

What I'm trying to say is, I miss my pills. And my ovaries are treacherous little bitches. Not only to they probably not do their job by ovulating, but they also make my life a living hell once a month.

I've been mega-crampy. I've been irritable. I've had issues getting to sleep, then getting out of bed in the morning. I haven't had any of those problems (at least as they relate to my period) since I was a teenager. And honestly, it's been so long ago now that I don't remember if I had them this severely as a teenager, or if I was just stupid and dramatic like most 16 year olds are.

The side effect of this lovely occurrance is an increase in my carbs. I crave them in a way I can't explain. Luckily, I still eat all my normal healthy foods, but have added a little no-sugar-added ice cream to the mix. Tonight I had a piece of sugar-free apple pie. I may have done the same thing yesterday. And on Sunday.

Pretty much, I feel like there's a raging hormonal beast inside me, wanting to burst out. I've been weepy, then turned right around and been a rage-a-holic. I'm normally not clingy or overly emotional, but this week I have been a basket case.

And as much as I would love to have Boyfriend around for rubbing my very sore back and letting me cuddle him at night, I'm glad he doesn't have to see me like this. Because I'm pretty much a huge bitch. And a clingy psycho girl. And a crier. Three for the price of one this week.

So, please shoot me. And move my doctor's appointment up so I can get back on my magic pills. Because my lady parts? They hate me.

The feeling is mutual. Trust me.


  1. my friend has been having RIDICULOUS stuff going on with her pills. she basically had to issue a her boyfriend a blanket warning that nothing she said or did was her, and it was actually the being that had "possessed" her during this medication switch.

    something about birth control really freaks me out. mammals have been menstruating and reproducing for eons ... while i love some modern conveniences and adaptations and scientific revolutions, this is one of those parts of the "perfect storm of life" that i feel really weird messing with.

  2. Chub, I see your point there. I think for me, though, if I end up having PCOS (which is progressive, so it gets worse, generally), I really think I'll want to do some kind of hormonal medication.

    I like the idea of not having to be on the pills because I agree, it's can really screw with a lot of things unnecessarily. But, if my hormones aren't at healthy levels on their own, I think the best option for me is to supplement and try to even things out a little.

    I, for one, have been on several BCPs, and really haven't had any issue with mood on any of them. But everyone is different, and that's certainly a risk that has to be weighed when making the decision.

    And really, save for this week, I haven't noticed any real differences coming off them. And some of that could be stress-related.

    My biggest issue is the UNBELIEVABLE cramping (I missed two days of working out because it hurt to move) and the scary flow. If it hadn't calmed down today, I considered going to the ER, to check for hemorrhaging.

  3. Sorry I can't cheer you on here. Each milestone in your age will bring about new joys of excruciating pain. 30 was a change, and each year after has brought new fun. If you can medicate, do it.

  4. Oh for sure. I think my comment was more about using BCP for BC, as opposed to treating a medical condition or deficiency in hormones.