My body has betrayed me.
You see, I had to go of the birth control pill for this PCOS test, to see if my body was producing adequate female hormones. I haven't had a "real" period in about 3 years, when I went on the BCP. So, this week has been ... fun.
I went on the pill for good at 21 not specifically because I was getting it on the regular (if memory serves, I wasn't when I made the decision). Rather, I had really heavy periods, and was experiencing a little extra hair shedding, and my dermatologist thought it would help.
I didn't know about PCOS back then. I just did what my doctor told me. Stupid, stupid 21 year old girl.
What I'm trying to say is, I miss my pills. And my ovaries are treacherous little bitches. Not only to they probably not do their job by ovulating, but they also make my life a living hell once a month.
I've been mega-crampy. I've been irritable. I've had issues getting to sleep, then getting out of bed in the morning. I haven't had any of those problems (at least as they relate to my period) since I was a teenager. And honestly, it's been so long ago now that I don't remember if I had them this severely as a teenager, or if I was just stupid and dramatic like most 16 year olds are.
The side effect of this lovely occurrance is an increase in my carbs. I crave them in a way I can't explain. Luckily, I still eat all my normal healthy foods, but have added a little no-sugar-added ice cream to the mix. Tonight I had a piece of sugar-free apple pie. I may have done the same thing yesterday. And on Sunday.
Pretty much, I feel like there's a raging hormonal beast inside me, wanting to burst out. I've been weepy, then turned right around and been a rage-a-holic. I'm normally not clingy or overly emotional, but this week I have been a basket case.
And as much as I would love to have Boyfriend around for rubbing my very sore back and letting me cuddle him at night, I'm glad he doesn't have to see me like this. Because I'm pretty much a huge bitch. And a clingy psycho girl. And a crier. Three for the price of one this week.
So, please shoot me. And move my doctor's appointment up so I can get back on my magic pills. Because my lady parts? They hate me.
The feeling is mutual. Trust me.
4 months ago